Before I came here
I didn’t even know where it was
«it is east Africa»,
I used to say
but nothing resonated with me.

Before I came here,
animals, terrifying and beautiful
domestic or wild,
familiar or alien,
had always been part of my biography.

But something changed,
I have learned to see them;
enjoy insects’ company
delight in the sounds of birds
admire their colors.

I understand that I depend on them to exist
that they are not just another species
that they are the force of human evolution
the beginning of everything.
My extension.

Before coming here I never thought I would be able to see an elephant
or enjoy watching the lions in silence.
I never thought of being less than two meters away from chimpanzees
and feel the urge to touch them, hug them, and talk to them.
What would I say?

Before arriving at my new home
I didn’t know how to keep my mouth shut
how to surrender to someone else’s presence
how to know how to see
how to know how to be

I didn’t know about the green
nor of blue, nor of terracotta
I did not know of the infinite capacities
of silence contemplating the earth
and the beings around

Before all life here,
I didn’t know that there are less than 900 mountain gorillas in the world
that most of them are in the heart of the East African rainforest
and that between the Congo, Rwanda, and Uganda
they embrace each other.

They defy maps, geographical risks
social problems
political interests;
an animal heritage
at the risk of no longer existing

Before I saw the gorillas,
I didn’t know that something so powerful
in their direct gaze on mine
with a language alien to orality
would make me really ask who I am

I never thought that the desire to be a wild creature
was going to invade me completely.
We walked for hours
found them in the jungle undergrowth
clearing with the machete at every step

The first one I saw was the male
I gave him my tears of emotion
of sadness, of beauty
of confusion, of breath
of death

Then
I recognized myself in the mothers
also in the offspring
the fruits
the branches that are their home

You can share with them
an hour that seems like seconds
that remind us of the fragility of time
of creation.
The impermanence of beauty and of horror too

Before coming here
To Uganda, my promised land,
I was not prepared for so much
nature surpasses me all
All.

Kampala, 2020/ 2022